Gorilla Coffee

Loren — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 22:39:13 +0000

Once I joined Cafe Tableaux, I started thinking about some of the coffeehouses that I’ve visited in my hometown of Brooklyn. Not many of them stick out. The one I decided was the most memorable (mainly because it’s the most recent one I’ve visited I’m sure I’ll think of the others eventually) is Gorilla Coffee. Gorilla Coffee is situated on a corner in Park Slope, Brooklyn. This neighborhood has a lot to offer people who like to go out but don’t enjoy the high energy nightclub Manhattan kind of scene. It’s fairly “trendy,” populated with people that have come from small towns all over America in search of the New York city life.

Gorilla Coffee gives just that city life feel. When you walk in you’re not greeted with a warm hello. You’re not greeted at all. You receive a glare as if, “how dare you come in here and expect to be treated as a customer… what do you think this is exactly? A retail business? *scoff*”. When indie coffeehouses became popular, this was the normal ‘tude to be expected from the stereotypical barista. It’s still inexcusable. If I’m coming into your establishment with the intention of buying two espresso-based beverages that will most likely be in the ten dollar range and we haven’t even gotten to an accompanying pastry, you better say hello damn it. A percentage of your rent in this high priced city just walked through the door.
Aside from the suckey customer service, the coffeehouse seating is narrow which is normal for a lot of Brooklyn establishments as space is limited and the buildings are mostly very old. Inside I found it to be more “fast food pizza shop” than “cozy coffeehouse” with beige walls and red diner tables with black plastic stacking chairs in almost a buffet row. I guess they chose black & red due to the logo. It’s still not a bad place to sit in for a quick coffee. Not a place I’d lounge in at night for too long it’s bright and “un-cozy” hence the pizza shop reference. Not to mention … this NEW YORK CITY coffeehouse closes @ 9pm! In the city that Never sleeps!?

Aside from the cons… The coffee is roasted on-site and it’s absolutely WONDERFUL. They have a dark roast profile for most of their coffee so almost of them are heavy in taste and bold in aroma. Though their baristi are jerks and their coffeehouse is a crappy hang out spot, the most important aspect was on point.

I’d definitely order a drink on the go and pretend they’re polite. Or even better I’d buy a pound on their website.

E2 Coffeehouse

Loren — Wed, 07 Jun 2006 03:31:07 +0000

I’ve actually visited this coffeehouse (honestly I had just had a cuppa at Joe’s and was driving around and decided I had to use their restroom) So I bought a Cafe Latte for myself and Cafe Mocha for my mother while waiting for a our drinks to be prepared and after “my relief” I stood around with my hands in my pockets circling the whole room with my eyes. This place felt more like a futuristic Arcade than a coffeehouse. Neon Blues, Oranges, and Greens was the theme that was reflected throughout the space with the furniture. When you approach the counter, there’s this huge negative space between the furniture and the counter. So it’s feels like I stepped on stage to order a drink. There’s all this space they could’ve added way more furniture (not to mention serve more customers) to give it a more “cozy” effect. The soft-spoken mono-syllabic barista mumbled a “hi” and stood there waiting as if I was a regular and already knew what I wanted to order. I didn’t feel like she was willing to be helpful whatsoever. I looked up at the menu and noticed the very limited menu. No wonder she just stood there. Not much to offer! I tried to create convo by saying “So.. who’s your roaster ?” No answer. “Is it Batdorf or Intelligentsia or something?” mumbles with a shoulder shrug “Umm ok… well cool ” Its not like divulging that information is the equivalent of a McDonald’s French Fry trade secret. But I get the feeling she had no clue as to what I was referring to.

As my mother and I got in the car , in unison , we took sips from our drinks and exchanged disgusted looks as if we ourselves made the drinks for each other. It was absolutely horrible !

So the ambiance was horrible along with its coffee. I hope they catch these issues in time because they have a pretty cool location and a lot of potential in a space like that. Ambiance and product quality are the most important factors here.

cafe tableaux » Loren

Gorilla Coffee

E2 Coffeehouse