ChocoLaté Coffee

Decatur, Georgia

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Oh, where to begin. . .let’s just start with this place can kiss my honky ass. My significant other has been begging me to go to this stupid coffee shop for months now, and I finally acquiesced, ending the struggle.

Perhaps I should start with the scenery, which really wasn’t too bad. This coffee shop is positioned in an old strip-mall, next to a health food store, record store, and various ethnic restaurants. I guess overall it’s a pretty standard looking coffee shop–not too great, not too terrible looking either. Just an eclectic mix of couches, tables, and chairs. Baristas all looked like either “princess punks” or adolescent hippy girls that used to ride horses in their girlhood.

The awkwardness began upon entry, in which I saw one of my old bosses that I used to work with at the abortion clinic. I will give her the name Pat as a pseudonym, just in case she happens to look at this. Well, ol’ Pat, geez oh man, what a fucking thorn in my side she was. She was always talking down to me, or catastrophizing a very minor situation. One day I was walking a patient into the procedure room, and she stopped me to ask me why the volume on the t.v. in the waiting room was so loud. So I’m standing with this patient, who is all drugged up on Xanax, as well as practically butt-ass naked, and she wants to ask me about the volume? I asked her if we could talk about this matter later, and she proceeded to get in my face and ask me why she had offended me–wanted to “process” this matter immediately. She wouldn’t get out of my face, so eventually I just told her that I thought she was passive-aggressive. She took the opportunity to tell me that I really didn’t know what that meant, and that I had a deficient vocabulary. Well, maybe I do, but I know a crazy bitch when I see one–whatever you want to call it. Anyhow, on with the story. . .she was sitting right there when I walked in. Neither one of us acknowledged the other, although I’m sure she saw me. My significant other conveniently requested that we sit on a couch opposite of her. I kept trying occasionally to just catch her eye and put an end to the awkwardness, but she was taking the game of avoidance more seriously than I. Finally she left. . .

So we sat and drank our lattes, which were terrible by the way, enjoying the chit-chat of two lovers in love. After 15 minutes my old boss comes back in to pop a squat and leaves again. Suddenly, punk barista girl shouts across the cafe condescendingly, “hi guys, we’re closed”–out of no where, just like that. Everyone just stops in the middle of whatever they are doing, without any kind of warning, and are booted out the door. They hadn’t even begun cleaning the place, and it was only 9 p.m. I really just don’t know what to say about this. . .I’m just so baffled that a place of business would treat it’s consumers that way. Don’t get me wrong, I realize this girl probably just likes the power trip and everything–probably the only way she feels in control of her life or some psycho-babble like that, but come on. . .9 p.m. and that rude! This is an ongoing thing with Atlanta. I’m just continually disappointed with the ‘tude and the fact that coffee shops close so early here. What the fuck is wrong with Atlanta.

I hate this place–very much, and I would recommend that no one visit it ever again. You are only wasting your hard-earned money so that some stay-at-home graphic designer can wake up at 11 a.m., stroll in and enjoy a cup of Sumatra. It serves no purpose for the rest of us, and is simply taking up space for hair-braiding shops and Mrs. Winners–something that has true value to our society.

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ChocoLaté Coffee

2094 North Decatur Road
Decatur, Georgia 30033

5 Responses to “ChocoLaté Coffee”

  1. Loren


    Hilarious… Im fond of Coffeehouses and would like to know.

    What do you think is a good time for a coffeehouse to close during a weekday ?

    Like what are ideal hours to you ?

  2. j.h. trefry

    I was with the Oracle on this visit and the account is unfortunately true. The thing that was most odd to me about Chocolate was the fake brick wall that had been erected inside. It was salmon coloured and made me feel like I was at an Italian restaurant in a strip mall… rather than a coffee shop in a strip mall. As our stay was cut short I cannot comment in detail on the rest of the space, and I do not even remember my beverage.

    After attempting to go there at least twice and being foiled into going to Saigon Cafe next door where our Asian waiter could be overheard with the two black women behind us who were looking for an appetizing dish saying, “these pan fried noodles are straight, you know what I’m sayin'” and then coming to our table and saying “what will you be having for dinner this evening,” I expected some sort of recompense for my troubles. I was paid back with even more inconvenience.

    I would say that any set of hours that do not cause your patrons to vocalize their bewilderment to your face would suffice to make a viable coffeeshop experience. And if your patrons don’t have the balls, I would just stay open until 11pm. I don’t give a shit when you open as I am not a loafer.

  3. kali

    I don’t know what is wrong with you guys. I love Chocolate Coffee and go there all the time. The place was started by this lady and her husband independently and the shop only uses quality ingredients, not to mention ALL fair-trade coffee. As for the workers, they’re all awesome and so friendly in my opinion. It’s not their fault if you get to the shop five minutes before it closes. I’ve worked in a coffee shop before and know how annoying it is when people walk in when you’re trying to clean up and leave, regardless of the time. I think you guys need to chill out and try again. Maybe this time get one of the shop’s specialty drinks like the romania or brazilia.

  4. Loren

    I think the last response (b4 this one of course) might’ve been by an employee or owner.

    That was waaaay too knowledgeable for just a “consumer” and fan of the shop lol. Which to me is funny. If anything, be honest and defend your shop or apologize, accept it as constructive criticism and re-invite the poster.

    I’ve visited this shop before. The baristi didn’t seem very knowledgeable but they were very nice n’ polite. It took two of them to make one latte so maybe they were new.
    Their two-sided counter was VERY junky and didn’t look very clean which made me hesitant to order.

    They left the milk pitchers out instead of refridgerating them immediately after steaming milk resulting in a poorly prepared latte. (that’s kinda unsanitary too considering it’s milk isn’t it ?) As I said they seemed new. Other than that, their customer service skills were on point , but I didn’t feel comfortable actually sitting there and hanging out.

    I bet if they worked on proper training of their baristi, and cleaned up a bit , they’d be fine.

    I’d like to also respond to the topic of the so-called “annoyance” Kali speaks of in the simplest way I can :
    Fault isn’t in question here at all.
    The idea of considering someone who contributes to your rent and/or mortgage every month annoying, is RIDICULOUS. Being rude to a PAYING customer is dumb. Plain & Simple. Being annoyed is the nature of business when you’re on the other side of customer service, but at the same time, when you go home and have lights, food in your fridge, and keys to a home, or whatever else you do with your paycheck, the annoyance should be easier for you to deal with.

    While you feel we should chill out , I feel YOU should wise up.

  5. Loren

    ……….. If anything, be honest and defend your shop or apologize, accept it as constructive criticism and re-invite the poster.


    [editor’s note: fixed link]

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