Java Hutt

Ferndale, Michigan

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I wondered which came first, the self-consciously selected alternative soundtrack or the edgy, quirky little shops on Ferndale’s downtown strip. Certainly my guess is that American Pop (I imagine it probably takes several years for caramel corn to turn black when it is left sitting out) and Record Collector (home of the 20% discount if you are buying Albert Ayler (or maybe everybody gets it) were there first, a beachhead of funkiness, before Ferndale made the conscious effort to cultivate the sidewalk scene with nice benches, numerous intrablock crosswalks, and of course, the speakers on the lightposts that force you to use ‘Rock n Roll Highschool’ or ‘Blue Monday’ as your soundtrack for trying to feed the meter before going into Java Hutt.

Java Hutt

For sure, the type of a coffee shop has its place in a little strip such as this, see Aurora in L5P in Atlanta, or Jo’s SoCo in Austin, but I felt in Java Hutt a certain level of sophistication that I associated with a confident entry into an established neighborhood who yearned for its presence, not the cautious impermanence of perhaps Satellite in West Philadelphia. It felt very safe. There seemed to be a white male proprietor who was moving around testing his business plan, checking stock, making sure the two young ladies were wearing their black outfits, etc. He kept a tight ship. He asked a gentleman seated next to the door reading a bible if he minded the door being open for ventilation. He did not and the fresh air drew all the way through the space and out the back door, carrying a Cure song from this millennium with it.

Java Hutt

There is absolutely nothing wrong with Java Hutt capitalizing on its role as coffee dispensary to the preened hipness of this suburban enclave. In fact, I welcomed it openly after spending the morning trying to find Black Gold on Griswold on foot in downtown Detroit and ending up riding the people mover back to my car from ‘Time Square’ out of desperation. As the Hertz bus driver had perhaps rightfully assumed, I would ‘enjoy visiting Ferndale.’ So I cannot throw stones at the freshness of JHutt. I could say I wished it had a layer of grit or a sense of isolation, a personality. But if I had wanted that I probably would have pushed myself to have a drink at Donut Cutters on Woodward instead, or I would have just leaned against a wall on Cass downtown all day looking for trouble.

At least this was a forum, a blank canvas if you will, on which an entertaining little dialogue unfolded. It was only happenstance that I had been driven from my table deeper in the shop by ‘Robert’ in the Bears cap whose machismo and sportiness belied the delicate intellectual front that many shops such as this wear so tremulously. Arriving at my new seat by the door, my table coincidentally seconded my sentiments about Robert (see photo below) and I began to eavesdrop on a young couple making their way to a seat parallel to mine.

Java Hutt

Male: So I had to jump out of the shower, run up the stairs naked, and answer the phone, you know, because people are always complaining about me not answering the phone.
Female: I don’t have that problem, I’m always wearing clothes, not even in the shower, I’m never naked.

This statement was unclear in its intent to me. Did she want to cut him off from pursuing a potentially ribald conversational topic, or was she trying to tantalize his imagination by saying the word naked about herself? It could have gone either way.

Male: That is too bad, I’ll bet being naked would suit you.
Female: Soooo, its nice to see you.
Male (continuing the creepy tone): It is greaaaaaat to see you.

At this point the female noticed my attentiveness to the awkward exchange and shared with me a knowing glance similar to the one Thos., Vidal, and I received from the young exchange student who, upon being invited back to an oily Frenchman’s apartment, was ‘reassured’ with his insistence that it was ‘ok’ because he would invite some more guys over too. Feeling confident that this woman would be ok with the creepy imp at her table I decided not to attempt to follow them as we did in Paris, but to wrap up my 15 minute exhaustive survey of Java Hutt and strut down 9 Mile to ‘William, It Was Really Nothing.’

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Java Hutt

165 West 9 Mile Road
Ferndale, Michigan 48220

17 Responses to “Java Hutt”

  1. :

    internet sucks there……. you would think the owner woudl figure it out after i wrote him 2 letters already…..

    maybe move the router out of the room surrounded my electrical objects and maybe the signal would be better


  2. Robert

    I think the funny thing about the idiot who posted this “review” is that, he won’t say, he got pissed because I wouldn’t let him take a close up pic of me studying. And as far as not “emulating intelligence” to his highest degree. If he would of asked, I’m a graduating science major at Wayne State University……I’m far from “machismo”…I’m a lover not a fighter.

  3. C

    Loved the review. As someone who used to walk to Aurora Coffee in little 5 and is sitting in Java Hutt, I never considered the similarities. Both areas have that certain level of craziness where any overheard conversation could be of religion (possibly their own creation), lovers, music, philosophy or UFOs. Generally, battles of wits between unarmed intellectuals, with a scattering of professors and phds working on their laptops. They are both weird spots where work and conversation can be done with soccer-moms too scared to enter. I think the similarity mostly comes from the concrete floors in both places.

    BTW, internet was updated so connections are top tier.

  4. duayne thayer

    That jimmy is so weird. Is he transgendered btw?

  5. Eric Barbieri

    Hey, this is for the sexy twink who works on tuesdays and fridays. Do you have a big dick?

  6. Lisa Shosona

    Hello, my name is Lisa Shosona, and I am a gypsy. I was wondering if I could conduct my saonces at the java hutt coffeeshop in ferndale? Let me know as soon as possible. Thank you all and namaste.

  7. thos. more

    @Lisa – I think that’s a great idea!

  8. Lisa Shosona

    Hey this is for thos.more. I’d like to thank you for your support for my work and can you tell me a bit about you.

  9. eric barbieri

    Where’s my jimmy?

  10. Duayne thayer

    what can you tell me about the sexy guy who keeps pacing back and forth. I recently saw him dressed as bunny rabbit. Who is he?

  11. Miss Wayne

    Duayne that bunny rabbit is not a he. Not completely anyway.

  12. duayne thayer

    Really? How shocking!!!

  13. duayne thayer


  14. joni wudyzka

    Hello, I was wondering if i could book a sex toy party this friday at 10:00pm at java hutt???

  15. thos. more

    @Joni, as far as I am concerned, you can take your stuff and set up any time.

  16. duayne thayer

    Whats up boys?

  17. joni wudyzka

    Hey what the hell is going on here? Is Java Hutt hiring or what? Come on!!

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