The Flying Saucer Cafe

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

tableaux'd by: and

“case study number two in why fairmount cannot sustain a decent coffeeshop…”

Saul, 7:03:38 PM:

Saul, 7:03:46 PM:
flying saucer sucks

Saul, 7:03:47 PM:
big time

Saul, 7:04:01 PM:
there isn’t a single TOLERABLE coffeeshop in my neighborhood

Saul, 7:04:22 PM:
i’d rather be stuck at walnut bridge coffeehouse than mugs or saucer

thos. more, 7:04:42 PM:
where’s fsaucer?

Saul, 7:05:00 PM:
26th and brown

Saul, 7:05:06 PM:
it’s the place where i went one weekend

thos. more, 7:05:09 PM:
never heard of it

Saul, 7:05:17 PM:
and people were talking about eating rabbit and venison

Saul, 7:05:23 PM:
i decided to give it another chance

Saul, 7:05:33 PM:
i arrived around 10 past 6

thos. more, 7:05:33 PM:
too bad we ran mojoe out of business

thos. more, 7:05:35 PM:

Saul, 7:05:41 PM:
i knew it closed at 7

Saul, 7:05:48 PM:
the barista says

thos. more, 7:05:48 PM:
what about that place by wf

thos. more, 7:05:53 PM:
java’s brewin’ ?

Saul, 7:05:53 PM:
‘you know we close soon?’

Saul, 7:06:02 PM:
‘um, like in 50 minutes?’

Saul, 7:06:10 PM:
‘well, you’re welcome to hang out till then’

Saul, 7:06:18 PM:
‘you mean, i’m welcome to hang out till you close?’

Saul, 7:06:20 PM:

Saul, 7:06:28 PM:
fucking rude

Saul, 7:06:33 PM:
and stupid

Saul, 7:06:35 PM:
so i sit down

thos. more, 7:06:37 PM:
maybe they have a pre-close policy

Saul, 7:06:43 PM:
just like last time

Saul, 7:06:47 PM:
everyone there fucking knew each other

thos. more, 7:06:50 PM:
‘funny’, the same thing happened to me during my pleasant holiday in sweden

Saul, 7:06:53 PM:
and were talking at each other from across room

thos. more, 7:06:56 PM:
‘we close in one hour’

Saul, 7:07:03 PM:
about dumb shit

thos. more, 7:07:07 PM:
maybe their usual customer expects to sit there for 9 hours

Saul, 7:07:11 PM:
the barista was the worst

Saul, 7:07:22 PM:
talking at very high volume

Saul, 7:07:27 PM:
and their internet was out

Saul, 7:07:30 PM:
and he didn’t even tell me

Saul, 7:07:34 PM:
i hate that place

Saul, 7:07:38 PM:
it’s almost as bad as mugs

thos. more, 7:07:42 PM:
fuck saucers

Saul, 7:07:59 PM:
when i write the tableau

Saul, 7:08:04 PM:
it will start with

Saul, 7:08:26 PM:
“case study number two in why fairmount cannot sustain a decent coffeeshop…”

Saul, 7:08:51 PM:
everyone who lives in this neighborhood is a douchebag

thos. more, 7:09:28 PM:
you can just post this chat as the tableau

thos. more, 7:09:48 PM:
‘saucers isn’t worth any more effort than an online rant’

Saul, 7:10:05 PM:

thos. more, 7:10:43 PM:
i’ll do it

Saul, 7:11:22 PM:
i hope they go out of business

thos. more, 7:11:50 PM:
are you going back there this weekend?

thos. more, 7:11:55 PM:
to learn your lesson again?

Saul, 7:11:56 PM:

Saul, 7:12:08 PM:
the barista and some customer were having a debate

Saul, 7:12:18 PM:
about whether one should feel sorry for the somali pirates

thos. more, 7:12:21 PM:
mugshots would be ok if they didn’t have the ‘restaurant’ and the sex creeps

thos. more, 7:12:44 PM:

Saul, 7:12:55 PM:
take away the bacon, the kids, the baristas and mugs would be fine

thos. more, 7:13:01 PM:
i don’t feel sorry for pirates

Saul, 7:13:14 PM:
it was fucking absurd

Saul, 7:13:34 PM:
you have my permission to post this chat as a tableau

thos. more, 7:13:41 PM:
i wish the seal snipers would set up on the ramparts of eastern state penitentiary

Saul, 7:13:54 PM:

Saul, 7:14:03 PM:
don’t include that part when you c&p

thos. more, 7:14:13 PM:
which part?

thos. more, 7:14:15 PM:
the link?

thos. more, 7:14:40 PM:
that site looks stupid

thos. more, 7:14:43 PM:
i closed it already

thos. more, 7:15:06 PM:
i expect a cafe site to have hours and info about fair trade coffee & soy milk

thos. more, 7:15:26 PM:
not a newspaper full of feeds the baristas think are hilarious

thos. more, 7:15:40 PM:
‘funny things chlöe found on gawker!’

Saul, 7:16:00 PM:
i know

Saul, 7:16:06 PM:
i meant don’t include part about snipers

thos. more, 7:16:13 PM:

Saul, 7:16:18 PM:
i don’t want saul cups to have fbi after him

thos. more, 7:16:28 PM:
the fbi were on that sniper ship, too!

thos. more, 7:16:34 PM:
they were all in on it

thos. more, 7:17:01 PM:
those seals weren’t on the ship when that shit started

thos. more, 7:17:16 PM:
they were flown there,

thos. more, 7:17:28 PM:
and they parachuted into the fucking ocean!

Saul, 7:17:35 PM:
i know

thos. more, 7:17:36 PM:
and had to be plucked from water and put on ship

Saul, 7:17:36 PM:
i mean

thos. more, 7:17:42 PM:
is that the easiest way to get on a boat?

Saul, 7:17:49 PM:
i don’t want anything about snipers in phila assoc with sbrimms

Saul, 7:18:07 PM:
that’s the last thing sbrimms needs

thos. more, 7:18:19 PM:
i just meant i want fairmount hill to be safe from pirates

thos. more, 7:18:48 PM:
not that bacon dbags should be shot

thos. more, 7:19:24 PM:
oh dear, what is this shit

thos. more, 7:19:32 PM:
Google Latitude Introducing Google Latitude

thos. more, 7:19:38 PM:
‘See where your friends are right now
Enjoy Google Latitude on your phone, computer, or both.’

thos. more, 7:19:41 PM:

thos. more, 7:19:53 PM:
another tool for my stalkers

thos. more, 7:20:49 PM:
maybe next google will have a website where you can turn on your ‘friend’s’ webcam from your own browser

thos. more, 7:21:38 PM:
Google Bug enables you to turn your friends’ cell phones into listening devices from your computer!

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The Flying Saucer Cafe

2545 Brown St.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19130

7 Responses to “The Flying Saucer Cafe”

  1. Troy

    It’s too bad you didn’t come in when Slayer was blasting from the speakers… that would definitely have added to your comments. The next time you decide to come in, which I really hope you do, introduce yourself!


  2. yethica

    So I guess we should feel sorry that you have too much of a self-righteous stick up your a** to feel comfortable at the Saucer. Next time we’ll make sure to talk about fun things to do with carrots and fluffy bunnies so as not to offend your sensitive ears. Or maybe you’d prefer it if we don’t talk at all. Sorry we interrupted your vegan dickhead reveries.

  3. s.

    It seems to me that if you’re making blanket statements about not just the coffee shops, but also the neighborhood and its residents in general, you simply have some sort of unfounded grudge against anything north of the Parkway. You’re perfectly entitled to your opinion, of course, however rather than just complain about how much the Flying Saucer sucks, just go somewhere else. Because I get the impression that you’re not FROM the neighborhood, so you don’t have to come and patronize our local businesses. Find one elsewhere that caters exactly to you and to your quirks, and leave those of us who DO like the Flying Saucer to continue supporting it.

    One more thing… It seems like a silly, mean, and spiteful thing to say that the shop should go out of business just because you got your feelings hurt. Since your delicate sensibilities were offended, you think that the appropriate solution should be that someone should lose their business, people should lose their jobs, and an entire neighborhood should lose one of the few business establishments that it has? Yup. Makes a lot of sense. If you really were offended, perhaps next time you say “could I please speak to your manager?” or something? I’m sure they’d try to resolve your issue. A little civility goes a long way.

  4. thos. more

    Comments are temporarily disabled due to another website’s weird current offer of free coffee to anyone who comments here. While cafetableaux enjoys a feisty dialogue with the community, the offer is in poor taste for causing the reader to question the objectivity and sincerity of the discussion.

    in the meantime, familiarize yourself with the answers to these frequently overheard questions:

    may i rebut to another tableauxist’s text about a specific shop?

    what if have major concerns about the ‘truth’ within the content of a review?

  5. Steinberg

    As a long-time Fairmounter, I am perplexed. Isn’t a neighborhood coffeeshop supposed to be a place where people from the neighborhood come, get great coffee, hang out, write on their computers and surf the internet, and discuss current events?

    The Flying Saucer is ground zero for all of us who live here. It is a place where all of us have befriended other locals who we would never gotten to know otherwise. These friendships are genuine. We all care about one another, have gotten to know each other on a first name basis, and are open to meeting as many people from the neighborhood as possible.

    As a central business in our neighborhood, The Flying Saucer goes beyond the function of the standard coffeehouse by receiving and holding packages for all of us, providing free wifi (for as long as we wish to stay), and acting as a gallery for local artist. Many times, the owner has seen me waiting for the bus, and ran out with my coffee, knowing that I didn’t have time to come inside. Where else would you get this type of service?

    The coffee comes from La Colombe. There are soy mild drinks for the vegans and even handmade, locally produces vegan cookies for people. Some of the pastries come from Miele (the best bakery in town). What more could one want?

    As for the conversations at the coffeeshop, they are never the same from day to day. My suggestion would be, if someone says something that you disagree with, pipe up. Don’t like eating wild game? Afraid of pirates? Whatever your point of view, say something then and there, not annonymously.

  6. David Reichenbacher

    Hey, Buddy, don’t lay your expectations on us or our neighborhood. You complain that the Saucer is one of those cafes where everyone knows each other. What an amazing concept. To create a cafe where people can network and connect, where people are brought together by conversation, music and art. Welcome to Philadelphia, a city of neighborhoods. Our neighborhood was not connected until the Flying Saucer opened it’s doors and gave us a place to get together. If you’re more worried about free internet, Fair Trade and Soy products, we don’t need your business. They make a damned good cup of coffee. That’s all that matters.
    David, a loyal customer

  7. saul brimms

    scups is mature enough to admit when he has erred. really, i spoke too soon. i’ve visited flying saucer cafe several more times in the last 6 months. it’s really a swell place. also, they offer discounts to people who work in the neighborhood ($1 off coffee — not bad!). this reviewer wishes flying saucer lots of luck and hopes they stick around for a long time.

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