Archive for August, 2011

Flying M Coffee House

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map2011

1. “That’s not gluten free is it?”
“No.”
“Good.”

2. Can’t abide by a place that sells underwear, toy Sasquatch arms, wallets, moleskin nbs, greeting cards, and “70s style running shorts.”

3. “Dude, it’s a, yeaaah”

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Cafe Tableaux. On The Road. Summer 2011
« Chapter 9: The District Coffee House

On The Road 2011 On The Road 2011 On The Road 2011 On The Road 2011 On The Road 2011 On The Road 2011 On The Road 2011 On The Road 2011 On The Road 2011 On The Road 2011

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The District Coffee House

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map2011

1. The Queen in heat accepts the slant-ins from several ardent Toms in a noisy chorus of superfecundity.

2. Thos.’s mug is handmade.

3. Ali Baba’s woman:

  • If the other 2 people hadn’t come in Thos. would have started crying
  • “Sometimes I think you want to fail.”
  • She was drinking a 44oz. Mountain Dew and doing a word find.
  • The kids in front of Boise Fry Co. were laughing at us for eating there.
  • Worst falafel on the planet.
  • Jews make the best falafel

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Grounds For Coffee

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map2011

1. Thos. doesn’t pretend to think NYC was cooler when it was overrun by criminals, but Ogden seems too nice, like a Twilight Zone episode where robots come up and pick up trash and kill strangers.

2. Kenn Allen should have written a sequel to Westworld where he sleeps with Roman slave-boys in Roman World.

3. 8 DEAD ON I-80

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Java Connection

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map2011

– Plain bagel, toasted, $2.25

– Republican debate, What’s so funny about Newt thinking everyone’s stupid but him?

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Get Real

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map2011

1. JT wanted to come here.

2. Despite accusations from Micha Issitt, etc., CT does not have the power to put anyone out of business or convince anyone of anything.

3. This place was out of coffee.

4. [diagram nullifying douchebags who wear their Oakleys on the back of their necks when indoors]

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Coal Creek Coffee Company, Downtown

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map2011

1. Things Thos. doesn’t know: What is so edgy about charging for soymilk?

2. I’ll take it black.

3. Edgy coffee shops

  • Every thirty minutes coffee comes out of fire sprinklers
  • The ceiling is constantly getting lower
  • Free soymilk on the counter
  • Cats
  • No gum chewing policy

4. Is that girl really tall or are we just sitting really low?
-It is the height of two motel stick pens

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Winfield’s Coffee

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map2011

1. What is a snickerdandy? Is snickerdoodle copyrighted?

2. People with sunglasses aren’t attractive.

3. Archway monument, I-80

4. Butler Building strip clubs

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The Mill

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map2011

1. Roller derby, don’t get it.

2. Flies everywhere.

3. Loser geek @ Big Lots like[s] Akira t-shirts.

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Hazel’s Coffee Company

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map2011

1. Music in coffeeshops, Green Line, Cat Power, commercial pop radio

2. Make new track listing for white album, cut out McCartney

3. Secure wifi is stupid.

[diagram of a cameltoe]

4. Lesbian relationships and sub genres

5. Android music players

6. Playlists

7. Photomat Drive-up coffee shops

8. Artificial flavors and flavored coffee, ‘how do they do that?’ -thos.

9. ‘Vegan’ Little Debbies

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Etcetera Coffeehouse Lowertown

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map2011

1. Soymilk on counter in the sticks.

2. Space frames, how do they work? -Thos.

3. Coffeeshops with mugs of their own.

4. Why don’t people know how to not look ugly?

5. Lünd

6. No objective attractive, definitely objective unattractive
→ angelina jolie
→ michelle obama

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CAFE TABLEAUX
is a compendium of literary, anecdotal musings on coffeeshop and cafe culture.
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